i don't like the word whine. and these are only my concerns. i have no intention to whine. i'm not even sure what whine exactly means. oh okay, i sure do but i am not sure if the contents of this blog can be categorised as whinings. i get upset when people point out that i'm whining. sometimes i even wonder if i do have the capability to twist things into something else that is not there. i also get upset when people tell me that i'm twisting my words. do i really? i don't know. maybe i didn't mean to. it's just how i see things are often different from how other people see them. this i know as my sister and i are always discussing on our ways of viewing things. we often view things in so many different sides/ways. and we can always turn a blind eye on the side we do not wish to see or comprehend. i also don't like being looked at and being a subject of a discussion. moreoever if it's not exactly a good one. but one thing that i've always hated since school is, being made fun of. i don't like being made fun of by guys especially. moreoever, by those i call friends. moreover, when it has something to do with appearance. i believe that we shouldn't be making fun of others because of their appearance as it's what God has given them. i'm sure that i've mentioned that i've always believed in what comes around goes around. i remember myself crying whenever i got home from school because i was being teased at school (lower secondary). i remember a boy named Rashid who would constantly pick on me. he'd find whatsoever he could find on me or was related to me and teased me the whole day. it was a living hell. still, i enjoyed school. i think. but yeah. and being a twin doesn't help much either. people would constantly try to differenciate us and make comparisons. frankly speaking, it's rather annoying.

i've always been a person who'd say *almost* everything that's on my mind. and often i make mistakes on saying things that i realise later on, shouldn't have been said. normally, these are the things spewed when i'm angry or upset. and i talk a lot. way too much. and i've also been told off for talking too much (by my sister usually). honestly, it hurts a bit. because i was so excited to talk and then i was asked to shut up.

and somehow, i feel guilty of feeling the way i usually do when people do the abovementioned things. funny. i feel guilty of feeling upset.